Okay, I have a new guilty pleasure that I really like....online confession sites. If you're not familiar, these are the sites where you can go and confess anything and everything anonymously. Its great getting to read other people's dirty secrets. Mostly, because it makes you realize that you're not nearly as fucked up as you thought you were.
There are tons of these sites all over the place. Just go to any search engine and type in confession and start reading away. They've got everything from infidelity, revenge, incest and lies. Its great. I think from now on, all Santa needs for his naughty and nice list is one of these sites with an IP tracker. Lumps of coal for everyone.
Now you know I'm not going to do this type of blog without sharing some of my favorites, so here they are:
It was my freshman year in the dorms and I get bored easy. One day I was pooping and an idea came to me, why flush all that down when I could put it to use?! So I took a plastic back with my hand in it, fished out the dookie, then proceeded to walk up to the laundry room on the second floor, where it looked like someone had already washed their clothes and was in the process of drying them.
Well, they were nowhere to be found so I thought the dryer with their clothes would be a PERFECT place to dispose of my treasure. So I placed my treasure into the dryer with her clothes. I decided to go back to the scene of the crime about 45 minutes later to see what had happened, well as luck would have it, a girl stormed out of the laundry room just as I was approaching it and she didn't look too happy, mind you the WHOLE second floor just reaked of poop, as I walked by the door, I looked in and there on the floor was some of the "treasure". I know that what I did was so sick and wrong, but to this day I still laugh about it.
This is so wrong, but still so fucking funny. This is probably funny to about everyone except for the girl it happened to.
I went to visit a friend in college. Males could not leave the room unless with a female who lived in the dorm. At three in the morning I had to pee, really bad but everyone was asleep. I peed in a cup, twice. The next day I left in the afternoon only to return to the girls drinking from the cup I peed in. I asked them if they washed the cups and they said that it was alcohol from the night before. I never had the heart to tell them.
I'm disgusted, confused and amused. So did he dump the piss out or are they actually drinking his piss and think its alcohol??? That's why you never save money by buying the ultra cheap beers in college. If you can't tell the difference between your choice of brewskie and urine, its worth the extra $1.50 to go with the name brand.
once when i was shopping for a new bra the sales lady asked if i wanted to be meassured for an accurate fit and i said yes...so we went into the dressing room and i took off my shirt and bra...as she started to measure me i kinda got turned on and she must have noticed...she stared commenting on how nice my brest where...i said thanks and she asked if they were real and i said yes and she asked if she could feel them...
*OK, stop right there! For those of you who thought you were going to get to read some free porn, you thought wrong (or you just didn't read this blog before I edited it. Sorry Spongefish!) Lets just say it gets a little steamy.*
...ever since that happened everytime i go shopping i always ask someone to measure me for a bra whether i need it or not beacuse i hope it will happen again...
God damn, who needs porn when there are internet confession sites? Didn't know there was even a job where you got to measure women's breast size for an accurate bra fit. I'm going to kill my high school guidance counselor. Sure, you probably have to be a woman to do it, but first that's sexual discrimination and two, I can shave and wear a dress and maybe pass for a really butch lesbian....maybe. The hard-on would probably be a dead give-away though.
I'm in love with someone, and have been for about 2 years or so. I was in love with him while I was with someone. Now I'm single, and he is with someone. He and I did some sexual stuff, but we never had sex. (Not while I was with the other guy) We never got into a relationship. But, I'm totally going after him right now anyway. I think his girlfriend is an ugly bitch. Seriously. His ex is waaaayyy hotter. And so am I, by far. I'm totally going to knock her ass out of the picture, and step on in. It should have been me, anyway. I'm better.
She's so modest and sweet, how could he not immediately dump his ugly girlfriend and start dating her???
Now for some of the really out there ones.
My girlfriend's cat was really annoying. It was mean and scratched and bit people all the time, but for some reason my gf loved it. One day I tried to pet it and it scratched me really really hard and my hand bled. I got pissed off and kicked it in the side. My kick ended up breaking the cat's spine and I told my girlfriend that it jumped off the book shelf. She believed me. We took it to the vet and it had to be put down. I totally took advantage of my girlfriend when she was crying later that night and I don't regret it even a tiny bit.
...and the winner for the boyfriend of the year award goes to....
I walked in on my son as he was *being naughty*. I can't get the image of it out of my head. It's so wrong but it makes me *happy*.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, hack, cough, dry heave. Bad mommy!
i am 24. and i eat my own boogers.
Short. Sweet. To the point.
Warning, skip this one if you're easily nauseated or grossed out. Actually, you're better off just skipping this one altogether and moving on to the next one. You've been warned.
i went in a girls bathroom and took a bloody coattex out of the box next to toilet and took a big lick
I warned you but you didn't listen and had to read it for yourself. Maybe you'll trust me the next time.
A month ago i meet my 23 year old half sister for the first time. A secret my father wanted to kept away from me untill i was old enough.21.We both were a bit nervous talking to each other at first,but soon warmed up to each others company.After a short time we became good friends and she would drop by every day to talk and have dinner with me and father. Unknown to me,she was growing fond of our talks and feelings of love was invading her heart. Father had gone early one morning on one of his monthly business trips. I was use to these trips.He would leave,let me fened for myelf and return the next day.This time was different because i was sure on having the usual company over for dinner.Ding dong! I opened the door and a rush of nervousness washed over my soul but soon dissipated as she steped in. I welcomed her and asked her what she was in the mood for? Dinner was great and the conversation was better then usual with the absents of father . We talked about my relationshipes of the past,She absorbed my words like a sponge as we headed for the sink to clean up. Washing dishes was her job and i was to put the food up in containers as left overs. For the mashpotatoes i needed the blue tupperware that was in the cabinet right next to her head. I reached over to grab it and suddenly
*suddenly, when it starts to get good, I come in with the editing switch. Let's just say, they didn't share a warm hug, shake hands and say goodnight and I'll never look at mashed potatoes the same way again. The rest pretty much comes straight from some trashy "romance" novel written by a lonely guy living high up in the mountains of West Virgina. Okay, back to the Jerry Springer wannabe.*
I share this because i have never been so in love as i am now. I know it might seem wrong. Brother and sister. I havent confessed this to no one and we are still close now more than ever happily.
Anyone else think this guy maybe wanted to be a poet...in hunting and fishing magazines? And if you thought that one was bad....
I was 17 when my sister walked into the living room where I was watching a porn. I shut it off as she sat down on the couch and she asked me to put it back on. Her eyes were transfixed on the television.
*Yup, more incest...in detail. I'm sure you've heard it all before on Springer.*
I'd love to do it one more time just because I am much better in bed now.
"I'm gonna be the best lay my sister has ever had, gosh durnit!"
Feel better about yourself now? I sure as hell do. Got any secrets you want to confess here? Feel free to share, we're all family here...and my family I mean the traditional we care about each other but don't have sex with are siblings type family. Have any other good web finds you want to share? What's your guilty pleasure? See you soon
If you didn't figure it out, the areas between the * * were my editorialized comments. I need to remember when I save stuff for future blog usage, reread it before I cut and paste instead of just skimming. The original version of this read a little bit too much like a Penthouse Forum letter. For anyone who actually wants to read these in their entirity, like I said, just search "confessions" on google. All of these came from the first site listed.
If you liked this, don't forget the "thumb's up". Thanks
Leave a Comment
JD Ross at 2:13pm on Jan. 30, 2008
11 months ago
It's always good to realize that you're considered normal by comparison because you haven't had sex with your sister :)
and did you write this? Your grammar is usually pretty spot on, but writing "are" instead of "our" seems a little out of place for you Reply...
Jason at 3:35pm on Jan. 30, 2008
the stuff in orange is direct quotes from the confession sites. Sometimes, if I'm typing too quick and get carried away, I'll substitute homophones. Reply...
David at 7:20pm on Nov. 27, 2007
about 1 year ago
The power of the prurient. The exhibitionism-voyeurism symbiosis enabled by the Web. You've put your finger on a powerful basic human impulse unleashed by the Internet. Good catch! Reply...