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Why do we call it a 'near miss'? - and other great questions

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(With thanks to the masters,  Beaverfish89 and Stephen Wright.)

 

Why are things typed up but written down?

 

 

Why is stealing from one book plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?

 

 

If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

 

 


Uploaded by sparkymacfarland1New_window on YouTube.
Click here to zoom.
Master of absurd one liners, Steven Wright.

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

 

 

 

If you drive at the speed of light and turn your headlights on, what happens?


 

 

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

 

 

 

 

OKAY, THIS ONE WILL KEEP YOU GOING:

 

 

When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the other part of your hand?

 

 

 

 

Why do we call it a near miss if we didn’t hit anything?

 

 

 

 

Is there anything easier done than said?

 

 

 

 

If you put instant coffee in the microwave, do you go back in time?

 

 

 

 

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

 

 

 

 

Why would Superman want to leap over tall buildings in a single bound if he can fly?

 

 

 

 

Do rejected farmers get John Deere letters?

 

 

 

 

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

 

 

 

 

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

 

 

 

 

If water spins clockwise when it drains in the Northern Hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the Southern Hemisphere...which way does it spin at the Equator?

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Tags: absurd, curiosities, funny, humor, questions without answers, stephen wright, steve wright, wacky

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  • Published Mar. 3, 2008
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  1. 10-28-2007-03.jpg

    stinsonamanda at 12:30pm on Mar. 3, 2008

    9 months ago

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    I'd like to know the answer about why we chose between only 2 people for President and 50 for Miss America...or even 24 for American Idol. Personally, I'd rather there was a bigger selection because I am not thrilled about ANY of the candidates for prez right now. ick. Reply...

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    1. Smile

      Danny Maruti at 3:10pm on Mar. 3, 2008

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      I bet most people in America agree with you. How is it that the political process goes on for 24 months, billions of dollars are spent, and we end up with three candidates that so many people either don't like don't trust or don't know enough about to be enthusiastic? Maybe its because you gotta have something wrong with you if you apply for the job in the first place, I dunno. Ick is right. Reply...

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    2. P3020118.JPG

      EagleChat at 8:49pm on Mar. 21, 2008

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      Yes, ICK is the word of the day today, presidentially-speaking. Reply...

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  2. 10-28-2007-03.jpg

    stinsonamanda at 6:36pm on Mar. 3, 2008

    9 months ago

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    I have made the comment before that I wish that "farmer John" would be a candidate. I don't mean some back-woods, elementary school drop-out is the man for our country...but would it hurt to have someone who is not in bed with half a dozen lobbiests? Or maybe someone who is honest and doesn't want to sell our nation out? I am afraid for our country...no matter which candidate gets in office...and right now, I don't know if I will even vote...and I always vote. Reply...

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      Danny Maruti at 8:00pm on Mar. 3, 2008

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      Bring back Abe Lincoln! Hell, I'd settle for Harry Truman. Reply...

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      1. 10-28-2007-03.jpg

        stinsonamanda at 8:55pm on Mar. 3, 2008

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        Amen to that! Dead and all....I'd vote for them over the yahoos running for office now! Reply...

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    2. P3020118.JPG

      EagleChat at 8:47pm on Mar. 21, 2008

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      Well stinsonamanda, look at it this way...
      Cast your vote for the one you think might hurt the country the LEAST. I guess thats kind of a bad way to put it, but what other way is there????!?
      Reply...

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      1. Our wonderful Beagle

        pengfree at 8:45pm on Mar. 23, 2008

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        Well you guys are lucky you have a choice of whether to vote or not - it's compulsory for us!! I never really want to vote for any one of our candidates, but like EagleChat says, I just vote for the one who will hurt the country the least - the person I voted for didn't get in in our most recent election for Prime Minister...... time will tell how well Kevin Rudd does the job. Reply...

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          Danny Maruti at 5:55pm on Apr. 3, 2008

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          What happens if you don't vote, Pengfree? What is the penalty? Reply...

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          1. Our wonderful Beagle

            pengfree at 5:46am on Apr. 4, 2008

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            You get fined - I'm not sure how much it is, because I've never really wanted to find out. But there is another option - a 'donkey' or informal vote - where you deliberately muck up your voting paper, so in effect, you've voted in the eyes of the law, but not actually voted in any way that counts. Most of the time, seeing as I've made the effort to get to the polling booth (on a Saturday) I will make a vote for the least abhorrent candidate ...... which has meant that I have done a 'donkey' vote a time or two..... don't tell the Electoral Office!! Reply...

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  3. spongebob1.gif

    SquarePants at 9:16am on Mar. 5, 2008

    10 months ago

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    your last question reminds me of a comedian who noted that left-handed people are right brain dominant and right-handed people are left brain dominant. He asked if that meant only left-handed people were in their right minds... Reply...

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      Danny Maruti at 10:12am on Mar. 5, 2008

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      That's a good one. We should start another collection! Reply...

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